I Do/Don’t Want To Go To School

Let me hit snooze on this summer because it has gone far too quickly. Let me throw my remote at another back to school commercial. Can I ignore those emails from school?

Nope. Our alarm clocks are ringing and it’s time for 2019-2020 calendars.

From the picture, you can see that I have been casually throwing stuff for school in a corner of my room. I tried to keep it hidden and out of sight, so I wouldn’t have to think too much about summer ending.

As I prepare to move back to school for one final year of undergrad, I am hit with many emotions. Some welcomed, some not. This last year brings excitement and joy, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t also bring anxiety and hesitation.

I love my school, my friends, my roommates, my clubs, my sorority, my professors, my jobs. I love my life at school and the independence that comes with it. The combination of all that with the fun things to come in senior year has easily made me the most excited yet to return to school next week.

But it’s easy to let my mind drift with the experience of the past three years to know that moving back also leaves me slightly empty. One more round of packing my life up and living somewhere else away from my family, friends, and my church. Yeah, I get to come home more often than others, but it’s not the same only to come back for a day or two.

I’m not ready for another nine months living in two separate places, always going back and forth. I like the settled feeling, and as much as I love both places, the ping ponging on the road adds tension to my shoulders.

And there’s also that huge question mark looming over me once senior year finishes in a blink of an eye. I’m constantly reminding myself that everything will work out. I’ll find a job. I’ll learn how to be on my own. Everything will happen the ways it is supposed to, according to God’s will.

Deep down I know all of that, but I’m human. I don’t like question marks. I don’t like not having plans. I would even accept a couple different options of a plan as long as there was something in place. Being left in the dark is not fun for me.

I’m sure I’m not the only one.

So, instead of words of wisdom on this subject, I’m offering up a prayer for all who go back to school soon.

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know it’s come that time again. Some of us will go back sooner than others. Some are excited to take their very first steps into school. Some are dreading the commute to another year of college. Some are excited to get away from home and be on their own again. Some are worried about learning to live with a roommate. Some are worried if they have enough money for school supplies or books. Some are freaking out over entering high school. Some are upset that they didn’t get into their school of choice. Some are anxious to meet their new teachers. Some are crying over not being able to go to school at all. Whatever the situation may be, I pray they feel Your presence walking beside them on their first day of school, in whichever year they are beginning. From Pre-K to graduate level. We all need You. 

Lord, I need your guidance and peace to ease my anxieties so I can enjoy my last year while I still can. You have blessed me beyond measure, and I want to shout Your love by being an example for you among my peers. Be with me as I make decisions regarding my role in clubs. Help me find the balance between studying and having time for friends and family. Keep me safe. 

I pray You reveal the next step for my path when You need me to see it. Ruth 1:16 says “For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge.” Lead me, guide me, direct me. 

Please let all the parents of students feel Your arms around them as they drop their children off, move them back to school, or watch them drive away to their respective education buildings. They need Your support just as much as the ones heading back to school. Bring us all back home safely. 

Also, please bless those wonderful teachers. Give them wisdom to help reach their students. Help them to keep their spirits up when that one child tests their patience, or when a parent causes them to break down. Allow them rest when they desperately need it. 

Whatever life throws at us this academic year, give us the grace and strength to face it. We love You. We trust You. We believe in You.

Let us cling to Joshua 1:9 in this coming year: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

Thank you for Your protection, unconditional love, and grace.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s