Uh Oh, Here We Go Again

Puppy Takeover: The Sequel

So, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, my mom DID NOT think of a better password, or learn her lesson from Max highjacking her site back in August (My Puppy Hacked My Site!). He’s a decent writer, but it’s time to make way for the real star writer of the family. ME.

Hi, I’m Ruby Rose. The baby of the fur babies. The princess sweet pea of the family. The fluffiest, cuddliest, most precious one of all.

I have a few nicknames and will answer to pretty much anything as long as I get a treat or a pet when I come a running: RuRu, Roopy, Sweet Pea, Baby Dog, Mama’s Baby, Daddy’s Girl, Turd Girl (long story, but I used to eat poop when I was real little), Nuggie, Nugget, Pookie Girl, Chewbacca (based on the sound I make with a toy in my mouth). These are just to name a few!

And I’m officially one year old! What a special day in our house. Well, I guess nothing crazy unusual happens today because I get treated like the best little girl I am pretty much everyday. Seriously, who can say no to this face? I’ll probably just get a few new toys JUST FOR ME, especially since Max didn’t share on his birthday. That might be the only thing out of the ordinary.

I sure do look sweet, but I can get the zoomies in the morning and the crazies at night. I’ll run all around the house for five minutes before I calm down. I just get these random bursts of energy. My favorite game is to swipe at Max’s back legs when he walks by me and then I wrestle him to the ground. I’m so much bigger now that it’s almost not fun anymore.

I said, almost.

I don’t have quite the same energy as Maximus, because when I get tired, I’m going to plop down anywhere I feel like it. Even if I’m in the way of something you’re doing. I don’t care. I’ll sleep about anywhere. And I’ll let out some nasty toots any time any place. My favorite is to bomb up the living room with my aromas when my parents are trying to watch TV. I also get blamed for all the toots even if they aren’t mine…

But since I’m such a good girl, I deserve all the treats in the world. I’ll leave a couple of my favorites at the bottom that I know you’ll be unable to resist to buy me, since it’s my birthday and all. First though, let me tell you more sweet things about me and neat things I do.

Lately, I’ve become more of a Mama’s girl. My dad is a lot like me. He falls asleep so easily and then he won’t be petting me continuously. My mom is a night owl and gives me all the pets if I’m sitting in her lap on the couch. She always gives us a cookie sprinkled on top of our dinner, and Daddy only does it sometimes and grumbles that Mama spoils us too much. So, Mama’s girl for sure now.

I’m okay with the spoiling. We have even tricked Mom to give us another night treat when she goes to give our cat sister’s medicine to her. We simply rush to our dog beds and wait patiently for her to come out of Whisper’s room. Since we are being so obedient, so calm, so sweet, she gives in every time. What a sucker. I just give her my big puppy dog eyes and lay my head down, and then it’s cha-ching, a little treat coming to my mouth.

However, there is one thing I have not quite figured out in my first year of life. It’s this song my mom sings: “Max and Ruby, Ruby and Max, Max and Ruby. Ruby and her little brother Max!” It truly makes no sense especially since Max is older than me. Every time I hear the song there’s always some laughs and mentions of bunnies and a TV show after she finishes singing. Like seriously, what in the world? Bunnies don’t have TV shows. Or at least, I don’t think they do? My mimi seems to be in on the joke though. To me, it sounds like she helped Mama come up with my name. I think I was originally going to be a Rosie.

Anyway, since I’ve entered my family’s lives, I’ve pretty much taken over. My mom’s sectional is now mine (even though I wish it was leather), and the backyard my Grand Pappy, Great Pawpaw, Mimi, and Daddy worked so hard on now has a bunch of beautiful holes dug by yours truly. When I stand on the dog house in our little backyard wonderland, I’m queen. Max is just a mere plebeian. He has to bow down to me, especially if I sit on him. I’m so much bigger that he can’t go anywhere. I am tall and lean, but when my dad picks me up he kind of has a hard time breathing and says I am “chonky.” But apparently I’m really just dense in my slim figure.

I also make the most adorable sound when I have a toy in my mouth. It sounds like “rrrreerrrrrerrrrrrrr.” It’s between a growl and howl, kinda, but muffled because I have a toy in my jaws. I’m told it resembles the sound of a Wookie from Star Wars. Whatever the poop that is?! My signature sound is just so cute and my parents always speak back to me using my special sound. I’m secretly saying “pet me, love me, give me attention!” Then I continue to wiggle my booty back and forth. My tail whips everything too. I can’t feel it so I just let it fly. I dink the fridge, cabinets, wall, Max, my cage. It smacked my mom in the face once too. It just has a mind of its own.

Speaking of toys, I’m obsessed with tennis balls, destroying Max’s frisbees and soccer balls, all things fluffy I can drag around, and bones. I love to chew and dig. Overall, I’m just a really happy, good girl.

Except when I get in little moods, which aren’t often. I sometimes just don’t want to be messed with so I growl real low at Max to tell him to back off. He can be so annoying sometimes just constantly trying to play chase. I also easily outsmart him and take whatever bone or toy he has. I do love playing and wrestling with Max though. He’s a good brother. Mostly.

I love my family so much, but I may just give my parents a love bite if they make me sleep in that stupid crate one more night. We always have to go to our crates in the middle of the night because Max can’t shut up and just sleep. He sees his reflection in the mirror of my parents’ bedroom and then starts barking. Once he wakes up the ‘rents, it’s off to our crates. I always get punished for dumb stuff Max does. Maybe I’ll just bite his tail next time he starts howling at his own self. I know they would let me stay if it weren’t for Max. Daddy even pleads my case, but Mommy says no to be fair to both of us. On second thought, I think I’m back to being a Daddy’s girl.

So, just in case my parents decide to cheap out on me, here is a list of things I would like for my birthday (and Christmas is coming soon):

  • Chewy gift cards (so Mommy doesn’t have any room to complain about how expensive we are)
  • Yak Chews (I chisel the cheese stick like a little squirrel so my parents have a fun treasure hunt with all the cheese remnants over the house)
  • Bully bone sticks (they are gone in ten minutes but boy oh boy are they a treat!)
  • Donut plush squeak toys
  • Tennis balls and a launcher
  • Anything pig and pink related (we fully embrace the girly colors in our house)

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