My Puppy Hacked My Site!

Hi my name is Max. Actually, it’s Maximus Theodore, but most just call me Max. It has come to my attention that my mom clearly does not post much about me, so I have taken over her social media for the day to tell you something amazing.

IT’S MY FIRST BIRTHDAY! I am now officially one-year-old, and since my hoomans will not post and brag about all the awesome things I do, I have taken it upon myself to do it for them. I mean seriously Mommy, even Dad posted cute pictures of me and Ruby. Get with the program. You’re a dog mom!

Now, let me tell you my story.

When my parents first met me, they instantly fell in love. They were not prepared though. Mom was rearranging the whole house once I got there. They gave me my own room and I got to sniff everywhere. I also met my older sister. But we did NOT hit it off. She’s a cat, and she just lays around the house all day. When we met, Mommy was holding her and Daddy had me on his lap, and as soon as Whisper laid eyes on me, she hissed! I was scared because all I wanted was just to sniff her. Daddy laughed when Whisper started acting up, but I could tell Mommy was upset that Whisper was not a fan of me.

Whisper and I now live somewhat okay together. She keeps to herself and I do my own thing. However, when I’m in my crate for the night, I bark as loud as I can when she passes by. Muaw ha ha! That teaches her for hissing at me! She didn’t even give me a chance, so now I torment her when I see her. It’s great.

For the first couple months, I had a few accidents in the house. Oopsies. But I was a fast learner as Daddy trained me to sit, lay down, and stay. I even can roll over. I also got to meet my big fur cousins. They were really bigger than me, but I didn’t care. I jumped and attacked them anyway because I love to play. My boy fur cousin, Nico, loves to chase me and hop in the swimming pool. Sometimes he butts me out, but he did teach me this cool trick about sticking my paws in the water bucket. Mimi and Mommy always shout “no, no, no” when I do though. I’m not sure why! Nico also gets told no, but he rolls his eyes. I’m learning how to do that too.

My other two girl fur cousins, Luna and Olive, really don’t care to play with me much. When I try to paw either one, I get barked and growled at for some reason. They are just no fun! Mommy tells me I need to chill out and just play with Nico when he and Luna come to visit. When Olive stays with us, she hides in her crate or gets to lay on the couch with my parents once I go to bed. Talk about special privilege. Daddy tells me to get over it and that Olive just wants peace and quiet.

I also like to travel with my parents. I learned how to ride in the backseat and I’m really good at riding. Except when I drink too much water and decide to throw up. I also like to do that in the house too. One time I went to go get a pet from Mommy but instead I threw up all over her lap and the chair she was sitting in. I also got my Daddy several times too. He’s quicker to move though.

In January, I got a baby sister, and I actually like this one. She is a lot like me and likes to do all the things I like to do, unlike Whisper. I first met her when she lived with her fur mama, and I instantly liked her. I didn’t know she would be my sister at the time, and I could tell my mama was worried about adding more pets to the house because apparently I’m what they call a handful? I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I licked Mommy and Daddy both in the face to reassure them that I liked that new puppy and wanted to go back and play with her. They didn’t seem to understand though because they said “Maxie, that’s gross!” However, a few weeks later, a little reddish puppy came home on Mommy’s lap and it was that same pup I had met before! I couldn’t believe I had a new play mate and sister. Mommy and Daddy named her Ruby Rose, but she really only gets called Ruby or RuRu. Mama says Whisper only has one name because she’s a diva, and that Ruby and I have two names because there isn’t room in the house for anymore divas.

Ruby and I were fast friends, but I still had to go to Great Mawmaw and Pawpaw’s yard during the day while Mommy and Daddy were at work until Ruby got a little bigger. Now we get to be together all the time and she is actually bigger than me now. When I get a little crazy, she tends to put me in my place. Ruby is always down for a wrestling match, a game of chase, or hide the toy. We like to get really riled up right before bed because Daddy gets a little angry. It’s fun to make him mad because then we get our night treat faster and he puts us in our crates.

Daddy picks me up like a baby until I get annoyed. He also sometimes makes fun of how I breathe when I’m hot or he blows in my face, so I pounce on him. He must like it though because he laughs and keeps doing it. He’s always pranking me. Mommy is sweet though. She gives me pets and treats and never mocks me. So in return I jump on her counters and try to steal food so she will chase me! I also try to steal Daddy’s socks or Mommy’s whenever she is doing laundry. One time I even ate a pair of her socks, but don’t worry, I threw them up the next morning before she left for work. I figured she needed them then. Obviously Daddy is my favorite, but I like Mommy too. Whenever he leaves, I howl as loud as I can to drive her crazy. Ruby is fine with whichever hooman. She just likes to be petted. Whisper ONLY likes my mom. She barely tolerates anyone else.

I also like to pace around the house no matter who is home because I just have to check out everything. I get bored easily, especially when Ruby is being lazy. She sleeps so much! She also eats way too fast and I like to graze and eat slowly. Lucky for me, she knows I don’t share food so she doesn’t even try to steal it. Anymore, that is.

I love people and will roll over to let anybody rub my belly. I love being the center of attention and will bump anyone out of the way for pets. I also really want to lick my human cousins, but my aunts and uncles always hold me back for some reason! Daddy then puts me on a leash, which I hate unless it’s for a walk in the woods, beach, or mountains.

Over my one year of life I have gained quite a few nicknames. Mommy and Daddy call me “Lil floof” because I have such long hair that I leave around the house as little presents for Mama. Maxie, Max-Max, floof, Little Boy, brat, Maxie-Boy, Poopy dog, sock thief, Daddy’s boy, Mommy’s baby are just some of the many I have heard before. I only ever hear Maximus Theodore when I’m doing something I know I’m not suppose to, but I tend to ignore that one.

It’s been a great first year, and I love my family a lot. They love me and tell me I’m spoiled. I do have lots of toys, but Ruby chews them up and I swear it was her that tore up our first pool and dog beds. I’m the good child! If anyone wants to get me a birthday present, I like yak chews, tennis balls, soccer balls, dog treats, a membership to a dog groomer, and squeaky toys. I definitely need some new toys since Ruby shreds all my cool stuff. I’m not too picky, and I will give you lots of licks as a thank you.

Happy Birthday to me!