Angry doesn’t even begin to describe it. I tried to make jokes. Shoved down my emotions. Well, then it was a struggle to get out of bed. I thought if I kept sleeping, then I would eventually wake up and the nightmare would be over.
I am blessed to have several friends reach out to me and ask how I am doing. They empathized with me and prayed for me. My sweet boyfriend came to see after he got off work, encouraged me out of the bed, and told me to put on my boxing gloves. He held the mitts and let me punch all my frustration and anger out.
COVID-19 has taken a lot from many of us. I’m still learning to cope with the losses I’ve suffered. As I received yet another e-mail about something that I have to let go of, I decided to start making a list of what the coronavirus has taken away from me.
Class of 2020, I know you are hurting. I’m hurting. It’s not fair, but no one in life said life would ever be fair. And it never will be.
Now, while I’m not big on revenge because it only leaves you feeling worse (trust me, been there, done that!), I do plan on taking revenge on this crappy virus for all the turmoil it has caused this world.
I’m battling it with prayer and my list.
My list is keeping record of all the things I’m having to let go of: time in my house at school, time with my best friend, in-person classes, hugs from grandparents, my sorority formal, babysitting, my job, my conferences, my magazine I was the co-editor-in-chief of, my senior celebration events, in-person goodbyes, etc. And the list goes on and on.
For every item on my list, I plan on doing twice as many fun things once all this mess is over. That’s how I plan on getting back at COVID-19. Taking back my peace, my joy, and my sanity. I’m still planning for fun and looking forward to what is to come. This semester was supposed to be a victory lap. A fun and celebratory time for me. I have worked so hard for these moments. While they have been sidelined and postponed, I will make them up, even if they are in different ways, once this virus is under control and defeated.
Prayer warriors, keep it up. We will thrive and come back stronger. I put my faith in God, not the media and the panic being thrust upon us. I am so over the negativity on social media and flooding my e-mails. I don’t want anymore of the bad news. I’m taking this forced quarantine as best as I can: plotting my revenge while basking in my backyard, smiling at the nature God provided us with. I’m reading books I have been meaning to get to for months, and relishing as I turn each page, captivated by the words. That will not be taken away from me. I’m getting my Netflix binge on. I’m soaking up the pet snuggles, getting back to my writing, and diving into my Bible even more than before.
February 26 started the season of lent. This year, I decided to take a material item away each day and planned to donate them at the end of forty days. Never in my wildest nightmares did I ever think I would be giving up my last semester and all the events that went with it. When I was writing my list of what this virus has stolen and continues to steal from me, I realized that during lent this year, I will have to learn to accept to let go of much more than just tangible, material items.
However, all this stuff we are having to give up pales in comparison to the one true King. What a hard and heartbreaking, but humble and worthwhile lesson. The nation needed this forced spring break. During this time of crisis, we must turn to Him, because He is the only one who can deliver us from it.
I’m choosing faith over fear. You should too.