Oh, My Soul

Casting Crowns has always been one of my all time favorite Christian groups.  Whenever I hear one of their songs on the radio or when someone sings in church, I get goose bumps.  Their lyrics are moving and the words know how to grip my heart.

The song, “Oh, My Soul” is no exception.  I had heard it on the radio, but never listened to the words until one day at church.  My friends were singing the song as the call to altar song.  Now, I do not normally pray at the altar.  I was always scared to have the whole congregation looking at me, but I had already been upset that day and there was no secret as to why.

One of my close friends passed away two days prior to that Sunday morning.  It was very hard to keep it together that weekend or following week.  But when the first verse flashed on the screen that morning, I grabbed my parents’ hands to head to the altar.

Oh, my soul
Oh, how you worry
Oh, how you’re weary, from fearing you lost control
This was the one thing, you didn’t see coming

“This was the one thing, you didn’t see coming.”  That was the lyric that captured me.  Out of all the things I anticipated for this summer, I never thought I would be burying a friend.  Actually, it felt like death was surrounding me and there were no words left to say.  It’s why I haven’t been writing much, but I was able to produce an article in tribute to his memory. It can be found at this link: To The One Who Left Us Too Soon

For the past several weeks, “Oh, My Soul,” has been stuck in my head.  The first verse really had me thinking.  I started to think about all the things I did not see coming this summer.  Burying a great grandmother and a friend in the same month would be at the top of that list.  I didn’t expect to hear that one of my best friends won’t be back at school in the fall.  When I pictured this summer, I did not see myself working two, sometimes, three jobs.  Renovating houses and launching my blog was a surprise as well.

We never anticipate when someone walks out of our lives, and when some reconnect, we don’t see that coming either.  Despite some horrible tragedies occurring, some good moments have happened this summer so far.  While I try to stay busy and just putting one foot in front of the other, I try to approach each new experience with an open mind.  We never know what will happen next, but I do know someone that does.

Proverbs 3:5 reads, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”  

God knows everything that will happen before it happens.  I take comfort in that because I know that no matter how hopeless something seems, that my Lord will take care of me if I trust and lean on Him.

And no one would blame you, though
If you cried in private
If you tried to hide it away, so no one knows
No one will see, if you stop believing

How many times have we cried in private and tried to hide the pain?  Faking a smile just to get through the day, so that no one sees you at a weak point.  But it’s okay to let it out.  We just can’t unpack and live in our sorrow.  Giving our issues to God and letting him take away the fear is what we have to do to.

Oh, my soul
You are not alone
There’s a place where fear has to face the God you know
One more day, He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down
‘Cause you’re not alone

Sometimes I feel completely and utterly alone.  When I get upset and feel like there is no one to talk to, I just hop in my car and start driving.  Tears pour down my face and I just want to scream.  None of my friends are answering the phone, and I begin to wonder who will listen to me?  Where can I go?  My chest grows tight and I feel trapped.  At any second, the world will cave in and crush me entirely.

The last time this happened, I kept screaming, “God please help me.  Please send me a friend.”  I wasn’t ready to go home, and I ended up driving to my church.  A couple of my friends were at the church working on a song for the next day, and it happened to be the same people who were going to sing Oh, My Soul.  I had no idea they were going to be there that late at night.

It goes to show that when we give up and give it all to God, he will provide for us once we take our hands off the situation.  Not only did He send one friend in a time of need, but He provided more than what I asked for.  We are never alone because God is always there.  He is the one true friend we can count on always.

“Be strong and courageous.  Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you.  He will not leave or forsake you,” Deuteronomy 31:6

God is there for everything, and especially when His children are hurting.  We just have to lay the problem down at His feet.  Things may not be fixed at the exact moment we expect it to be, but an answer will come in God’s time.  I may never understand why my friend had to die, or why someone else walked out of my life unexpectedly, but I praise God for the lesson that each person taught me.  It’s not our job to understand why some things happen.

Here and now
You can be honest
I won’t try to promise that someday it all works out
‘Cause this is the valley
And even now, He is breathing on your dry bones
And there will be dancing
There will be beauty where beauty was ash and stone
This much I know

I’m not strong enough, I can’t take anymore
(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)
And my shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore
(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)
Can He find me here
Can He keep me from going under

Oh, my soul
You’re not alone



One thought on “Oh, My Soul”

  1. Wow, Raegan, this is awesome. So well said and heart felt. Know that we all have felt like that sometimes as well and can feel so alone. But we are always here for you. We love you.


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