I’m not good at sitting still and doing nothing. When I do sit, I’m thinking about the dishes in the sink, or the laundry waiting to be done. As a kid, I was the one who wanted to finish my homework right after school and then I felt free to go play outside.
In church service, my mind drifts to what I need to buy at the store for the weekly food list. My brain often has a bunch of tabs open and it has a hard time shutting down or focusing on just one task at a time.
Because of the feeling I always need to be doing something, I always felt convicted when I read the Martha and Mary account in the Bible.
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
– Luke 10:38-42
See, it hits me every time. I see Martha. I understand her. She wants things to be perfect. She wanted to do her very best in serving the Lord and took on that burden. For her, everything needed to be just so to honor her special guest and dear friend.
I also understand her frustration with her sister who was not actively helping. I’ve been there and get that feeling too when I feel like I’m alone to do all the chores. I often think, if I had some help then I too could sit and enjoy once it all was done.
To me, it seems Martha serves the Lord by serving others. Making sure everyone else is taken care of and every detail thought of before taking care of herself.
I think this passage gets twisted sometimes. Jesus did not call Martha down while she was serving. Jesus knew Martha’s heart. He knew her intentions. He knew how she showed her love. He only said something to her when she complained about Mary.
I don’t believe his response was saying Mary was doing the right thing in this situation, that she was the better of the two. He tells Martha she is anxious and troubled about all the things, and gently reminds her that only one was necessary—spending time with Jesus, as Mary was doing. He didn’t say the other things weren’t important or what she was doing was wrong. He reminded her that the things she was doing was stealing her joy and the thing she needed for her soul—time with Him.
Martha was worried about everything and everyone else, and forgot to feed herself. It is important to make sure our souls are fed by the One who sustains us! I feel like this story gets used out of context and thrown at women a lot. Maybe it is just me who feels this way about Martha, but I sympathize with this situation because guess what, the dishes still have to be done, dinner has to be fixed, and the house has to be tidied. The chores don’t stop, nor does the hosting when guests are present.
Martha struggled to be in the moment, soaking up the time with Jesus while he was actively present in her house. Maybe she was embarrassed by the state of her house. Maybe it was dirty or “lived in” at the time. Maybe she was trying to cook too many things at one time and she was overwhelmed doing her best to make sure bellies were filled and everyone was in a cozy, clean environment. Personally, when my house is a mess, I can’t function. My mind then is a mess.
The takeaway here is not to pit Mary and Martha against one another. Martha’s priorities may have gotten out of whack in this moment and forgotten to feed her soul first with God the Son. Mary was filling her own cup and soaking up the moments with her Lord, and then maybe she would have helped with the chores afterwards. Cleaning and cooking and hosting will not fill our cup. Yes, they may be necessary things, but they are not the most important thing when it comes to Jesus. Mundane tasks still have to be done, but there is a time and place for them.
Since my son was born, I feel like I’ve gotten better about living in the moment, and not stressing about the chores. My husband may disagree, who knows, but I didn’t freak out over dishes being left in the sink overnight recently. I feel like that is progress. I’m also trying to protect my peace more and not get myself into situations where I know I will be rushed and anxious, because then my focus is pulled and I will miss what is happening in front of me.
I’ve struggled to find a consistent schedule since becoming a mom. It constantly changes during this first year of life as a mommy, so finding a time to read my Bible or pray at a certain time each day has been tricky. I used to have a scheduled devotion time before predictability was thrown out my front door. By no choice, I’ve had to learn to adapt each day and switch it up. My new favorite time in prayer is during naps while my son snoozes on my chest. In those moments, I thank Him especially for the little blessing that is growing very fast before my eyes.
This past year I’ve thought so much about the Mary and Martha account from Luke chapter 10. I do worry and stress over much, run myself ragged over details and endless lists, and hurt my own feelings over analyzing every comment or silence from other people around me. I’ve learned this past year my soul is fed in the quiet and slow moments of my day: snuggles before bedtime, rocking on the front porch, worship songs driving in the car, and my one big continuous prayer throughout my whole day. I’ve turned into one of those people who leave the bubbles up as if I’m typing a super long text message. I just never say amen and pick up my conversation with God maybe a minute later or five hours down the road. It also sounds like I talk to myself a lot.
I can’t completely cut out the physical act of serving through chores, making meals, laundry, or all the things we all have to get done, but I am doing my best to focus on a better balance so I don’t miss the good portion and my time with Jesus. It fills me up and keeps me going.
I am a Martha doing my best to focus and spend quality time like a Mary.
Here’s some examples:
I strap my baby to me and work on chores. We sing songs praising our Savior while mopping the floors (well, I sing, and he jabbers and wiggles in a dance). We play afterwards and sing some more with the occassional dance party.
I have learned to read my devotion and pray while my husband spends time with our son, or during the mornings before our day begins. It isn’t at the same time every day, and I’m learning to roll with the flow.
My house no longer gets clean in one swoop like it did before. I have to break it up in chunks or I will never get my cup filled during quiet time in God’s Word. I also would miss out on so many snuggles and play time with the biggest ministry in my life right now: my baby. Raising Him in a home that priortizes Jesus is what my husband and I strive to do. Our job as parents is kingdom work, training our child up with Scripture written on his heart so he may join us in eternity one day.
I’m also working on putting this balance in other areas of my life too. Time with God brings me peace and contentment, as does making memories with my family. While I don’t mind hosting gatherings at my house, it of course is not as simple as only opening your door. Especially not for your son’s first birthday.
Our dogs come inside so the dusting and floor cleaning is endless, and always a must before parties. We also rearrange our living room a bit to accomodate our family size, and then there is the food prep and decorations.
Several factors were considered in our decision, but a pretty big one was me worrying about making sure everything was ready and prepped for a party on his actual first birthday. I did not want to miss out on enjoying the first anniversary of our son’s birth. Selfishly, I also didn’t want to share it too much as we reflected on that special day, and spend a good portion of the day praising God for the gift.
We decided to place his party on a different day instead, and reserve the actual day for no busyness or making sure our house was ready to receive guests.
The account about Mary and Martha reminds me there is a time and place for all things, but we must not neglect making time and focusing on what feeds our souls. The most necessary thing is time with Jesus. My cup also is filled with quality family time, chats and catch ups with dearest friends, and of course, reading great books and purging my thoughts in writing.
For all my fellow Marthas, I see you, love you very much, and will continue to pray for us all to keep Jesus first and find time for all the rest.
“Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” – Psalm 34: 14
Seek your peace from the Prince of Peace, and never stop pursuing Him who gave us life. Amen!
Mirror, Mirror 