I recently took a spiritual gifts test. During one of his teachings, my dad challenged our Sunday school class to take a spiritual gifts test to see in which areas we would be most gifted to serve in. He printed off these surveys for all of us, and asked us to take one, saying the answers might surprise us.
Oh boy, was he right.
I put off taking mine for several weeks. Honestly, I had forgotten about it, tucked away in the front of my Bible. Whenever I stumbled across it within those few weeks it was just not a good time for me to sit down and answer a bunch of questions to come across answers I was already pretty sure I was going to get.
I’ve recently been struggling to figure out what to do. Summertime is when our church asks current officers/teachers to say yes or no to the upcoming church year in whatever position they are serving. And they always start asking before Vacation Bible School happens.
Normally, it is an easy thing for me to decide. I usually easily circle to continue being a youth leader and VBS director. My husband and I have been youth leaders for the past three years, and we love it. We have a very small youth group, but those boys have brought so much joy to our lives.
Vacation Bible School has been a different story this year. I have been doing VBS since I was in youth group. The past three years I’ve been directing though, and it has been different. I used to teach and be more involved during the actual week prior to organizing it all. There are parts I enjoy as director, and some that I really rather not do.
For this year, I felt the most unprepared out of all the years I have been a part of VBS. Being a first time mom took a lot of my focus, but as it got closer to time, my mom started having some health concerns. I also happened to try out a different material this year, which brought a bit of a learning curve.
A little more than a month out from VBS, I circled no on the sheet at the church for next year. I struggled getting station leaders this year, or people who would have to do some prep prior to just showing up the day of VBS. I was exhausted, and my mom was not physically able to help as much, and frankly, I just wanted to grab my son and hold him while I cried in my recliner.
This also was going to be the first VBS my mawmaw would not be here to help me. Since I started directing, she volunteered to help out every year. And of course, our VBS ended up falling on the day after the 6th month anniversary of her passing. Half a year without her. I’ve been angry and depressed.
I also stumbled across a Facebook post saying if you cannot give your 100% to a volunteer position, then get out of it. That felt like a sign before I circled no on directing Vacation Bible School for 2026. I certainly have not been able to give my 100% like I have in years past. I ran up to the last possible second this year, and still forgot some things.
So much seemed against this VBS from happening. We had some mishaps and technical difficulties throughout the week as well, but somehow we all made it safely and with smiles. The kids seemed to really enjoy it, and we had the biggest turnout at commencement. I had volunteers and parents coming up to thank me and let me know how much they enjoyed this year.
During the week of VBS, I scribbled out my no, but didn’t circle yes either. The weeks leading up to VBS are always the hardest, and the decorating/moving furniture the week before is the absolute worst. To make it happen, we had to call on help this year.
The people who stepped up when we asked for help made me realize perhaps I have been doing it wrong all along. Maybe I should have been asking for more help, make sign up committees, or clarify volunteer positions better.
Now, I’m sitting here dissecting what went wrong with this year at VBS, what went well, and what can be improved for next year, if I agree to directing once more. So in trying to help determine if I sign up for another year, I took the spiritual gifts test.
I was stunned to see that teaching was not what I scored highest on. Or administration. They weren’t the first ones but in the top three. The spiritual gift I scored the highest on was mercy.
Don’t worry. I laughed too. My husband laughed harder. I thought maybe I answered the questions wrong or that it was a joke. There was not an explanation along with the survey about what each gift meant either.
When I think of mercy I think of escaping punishment that is rightly deserved, such as Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. We certainly didn’t deserve that sacrifice but he gave it to us anyway.
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.” – Ephesians 2:4-5
We laughed at me scoring mercy because I have a very difficult time letting go of grudges, or forgetting when I’ve been wronged. I’m a rule stickler too. I worry about showing too much mercy because I don’t want it to become a bad habit. Forgiveness is also something I have a hard time swallowing, especially when it isn’t asked for and I’m supposed to just move on with no acknowledgment.
I feel things deeply. I hurt easily and cry at the dumbest things. My memory is so good at remembering all the bad moments and glitchy on the good ones. Merciful is not a word I would use to describe myself.
And yet, we are called to demonstrate mercy as Christ did for us. I wouldn’t say I’ve never shown it, but it does not come natural to me whatsoever.
So, I had to look up what the spiritual gift of mercy meant to see how in the world I scored something when the words “mean” and “strict” have been used multiple times to describe me.
The word empathy popped up a lot. The spiritual gift of mercy was also described as to help those in need or alleviate suffering, and speaking encouragement. Of course, forgiving those who have wronged you popped up too.
I’m not sure why I scored high on this spiritual gift. Sure, I might do some of those things naturally, but I’m not positive why I scored high on something I don’t feel I’m great at.
I get myself into situations because I have a hard time saying no, especially if I feel I’m needed. I like to feel wanted and if I can be of service to someone else, I feel like I have a purpose.
Maybe I scored high because God is telling me I have the ability He gave me and that I need to learn how to better use it. I’m not sure what all this spiritual gift means and how I need to display it for the work of His kingdom, because I do believe I have been wasting it. For that, I am very sorry.
The test didn’t give me the answer about whether or not I should say yes to VBS next year. It did show me that I have much still to learn and areas to grow. It revealed areas of my life I have been neglecting and acting poorly in. It reminded me I need to forgive and remember the mercy I was shown on the cross so I can show that to others.
My research into the spiritual gift of mercy brought faces to my mind that I need to forgive and show mercy. It also made me wonder if I need to show some of that mercy to myself too because I spend a lot of time trying to do the right thing so I don’t make mistakes. But when I do, I will rake myself over the coals over and over, and all my past mistakes come slamming back into my mind when I screw up again.
“Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” -Luke 6:36
The test definitely did not give me the answers I thought it would, so my dad was right (he will love reading this one). The test did not help me decide on VBS for next year, but I did choose to say yes anyway.
I decided to give myself some grace on how it unfolded this year, or how I thought it went on my end. I circled yes because I may not be the perfect VBS director, but I do have many people willing to help me teach children about what Jesus did for us on the cross. I have people still willing to further His kingdom so others may join it and learn about their spiritual gifts as well.
God bless those who are willing to be His hands and feet! Also, thank you Lord for these gifts you have given me. May I use them for your glory!
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.” -Psalm 51:1
Mirror, Mirror 