How often does our expectations match up to our reality? I’m sure it does sometimes, but not nearly enough as we hoped. While not always, I’ve often discovered that reality turns out even better.
I’ve always been a big dreamer, but try to downplay my expectations so I don’t end up too disappointed. If I go in with low expectations I think it somehow cushions the blow I feel will happen when things don’t go the way I planned.
I went into this year feeling excited and hopeful for what was to come. We started the year off with a wonderful cruise to a place that had been on my bucket list for a while. We have been working towards our goal of moving into our forever home this year, and hoped it would be by August at the latest with how things were quickly moving when we got started. I had two weddings on the books this year where I was asked to stand alongside two of my dearest friends. I had already signed on for another season as the head volleyball coach at the school where I teach part-time. Just a lot of fun and exciting things were happening!
Just one thing I did not see coming for this year was expanding our little family. While I secretly hoped we might be expecting at some point this year, it was a curveball I did not expect to happen so soon. With our new addition coming in a few short months, a few of our exciting, expected plans have been altered a bit to make room for the best surprise.
I did have to step down as head coach due to the timing of the season and my estimated due date. I made it through one wedding, barely squeezing into that bridesmaid’s dress, but the next one I may not even be able to be there if my child decides to arrive earlier than expected. We are going to be hopeful that he will wait until after our friends say I do first though!
With the baby coming this year, my stress level for the house move has risen more than it probably would have if we weren’t expecting. I had thought we would have been moved in first before baby comes, but there is a possibility that may not happen or it all be happening at the same time, which makes a first time Mama more anxious in trying to get everything set up the way I would like before we try to adjust to our new joyful addition. It has been a lesson in patience and trusting in God that all will fall into the place when it should happen, and what I think should happen is not always the best.
Whether you are someone who embraces change with open arms, or avoids it like the plague, change does and will happen. Your plans may get changed, or a new season of life gets introduced, or new challenges enter the playing field. It’s inevitable. For myself, I can be middle of the road when it comes to change. I like routine and knowing what comes next, so when something comes along forging a new path, my eyes get wide and I might panic at first. Then there’s the exciting change I know is coming and looking forward to, such as cuddling my baby on Christmas morning this year.
Even though I may be excited (and a bit anxious) about some upcoming changes this year, I also have a bit of sadness mixed in with it too. The home we are moving from was the first place I lived on my own, and then the first house we called home after we got married. While there are things I don’t love about the house, I’m going to be a bit sad to say goodbye because it holds some great memories and wonderful firsts for us.
Adding a baby to our family is a much welcome change, with a mixture of nerves and what-in-the-world-do-we-do-now as we adjust and learn how to care for this tiny human, but I would be lying if a small part of me will mourn it just being the two of us now. I truly love hanging out with my husband and have cherished the time and adventures we’ve shared together. Life will only get sweeter and wonderful as I watch him enter fatherhood, but our roles and focus will shift a bit with a newborn. I know our time together will be altered for a while, and it will take much more effort to intentionally spend time together.
All in all, I’m certainly not upset my 2024 expectations did not line up with reality. It all just reminds me that even in the face of exciting change or upsetting disappointments, my God is never surprised by any of it and has never changed like we do. He remains the same, our rock, our redeemer, and our go-to for all the changes that alter our little worlds. No one is more understanding of our hearts, our fears, and who we are than our God. As the book of James reminds me, nothing happens without the Lord’s consent (James 4:13-17). I am in control of nothing, and praise Jesus, because His plans are far better than whatever I can create.
“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” -Psalm 18:2
Mirror, Mirror 