With May celebrating Mother’s Day and us hitting the halfway mark in pregnancy, I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom, genetics, personality traits, and where they come from. I love looking at family trees and learning about family history on both sides. I enjoy hearing stories about when my parents were little, or grandparents and great grandparents. I was very fortunate to know three great grandparents throughout most of my teenage years.
Now, I’m wondering what my child will be like or which facial features he or she will have. My eyes with my husband’s hair? Or vice versa? Red hair like my mom’s? I just hope the kid does not inherit any of my anxiety! I also really hope the baby inherits Daniel’s ability to laugh things off and go with the flow. He also is way funnier than I am.
I’ve been told all my life I am the spitting image of my mom, and she says “I don’t see it.” There are definitely lots of ways we resemble physically, but I also have several of my dad’s features too. My mom says I act more like my dad, which I’m not convinced of either. He and I share many personality traits: decisiveness, stubbornness, and management styles. We have no issue with charging into a situation where my mom and brother rather take a more peaceful approach. The only difference is that I’m going to cry more in those situations. It’s my go-to voluntary reaction whether I’m happy, sad, or angry. I’m much more like my mom in that way. She and I are compassionate, but she is way more so, and definitely kinder. I wish I was as eager to help out and serve others the way she does, but I fall short in that aspect too.
I hope I will be at least as half of the mom she is, and if so, I’ll do just fine. I could go on and on about how much I love both of my parents, but then this post may never wrap up. I wish I was more like my parents in several aspects: their generosity, wisdom, willingness to serve, and ability to not give a crap about what someone thinks. My husband is really good about that last one too. Hopefully my kid will have that ability.
Both of my grandmothers love to read, and I share that same hobby. However, I lack my mawmaw’s optimism, and my nana’s depth of loyalty. I wishfully think I’m like my Papa J who is incredibly creative, organized, and a joy to be around, but know I fall short. If I had half the determination of my pawpaw, I’d be far more productive and watch less TV. I like to think I inherited some of the spunky attitude my great grandmother, Gee-Gee, had, but I lack that sparkle in her mischievous eye and the ability to make people laugh effortlessly.
I’m also a sucker for tradition. I don’t mind embracing new traditions each year, but those special touches from my childhood are things I still like to incorporate. My aunt wrote notes in books she gave me for Christmas and birthdays, so I write notes in the books I buy for my nieces. My other great grandmother, Gran, was an incredible seamstress, and after she passed away, I took a sewing class to learn. I’m not as great as she was, but I was able to pull off making handstitched stockings for my husband when we were engaged, and then another one for my future sister-in-law when she and my brother were getting engaged. Now, I’m working on one for my child so it will be ready for the first Christmas this year.
Beyond the genetics I share with my blood relatives, I have other influences who have contributed to who I am. There are several moms at church who have been there since I was a baby. I watched them serve in different areas for the church, and now I am so grateful they come to help me when it has been my turn to lead those programs for the kids.
Another mom of major influence is someone I met later in life: Daniel’s mother, my wonderful mother-in-law. My husband is a beautiful blend of his parents as well, and he shares the same sense of humor with his mom. I am so grateful for her and the man she raised. She is also one of the biggest prayer warriors I have ever met. When I doubt and feel anxious, she calms and reassures , pointing me back to Jesus. I pray my child grows up praying like she does!
There have been numerous times when I worry about who will be a part of my child’s life. Who will include us, and who won’t. Will we be invited to this or that? There have been more times than I care to admit of where I have felt left out, looked on through the outside, or when my feelings get hurt after finding out we were left off or forgotten about. I paid attention and took note of when my husband or I were not included in plans or even asked based on the assumption we were too busy. Because of past experiences, I can’t help to think what it will look like when we are a family of three.
Those feelings certainly aren’t positive or helpful, so I try to focus on the the people who I just wrote about: my mom, and all the others who helped raise, guide, and continue to look out for me. Whoever shows up, I pray they will leave a lasting, loving impact on my baby’s life.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who the baby looks like, which personality traits might be inherited, or who involves themselves in our lives. What matters is that my children will grow up knowing the love of Jesus and God’s Word so that they may come to know Him in their hearts. When the doubts, worry, hurt feelings over being left out by those who I thought cared, and all the anxiety swirling in my head pop up, I will do my best to cling to the fact nothing is as important as Jesus and having a relationship with Him. He already knows the fear I have and will have, and He has taken care of them.
“Therefore do not be anxious, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
-Matthew 6:31-34
Mirror, Mirror 