Alright, I’m about to admit I am a liar and hypocrite. You ready?
Back in 2019 I wrote a blog post about The Blessing Jar and was so proud of coming up with this cute little jar I would throw a “blessing” in each day, and then open them up at the end of the year before starting over. I tried sharing the idea with others too and even made jars as gifts.
Well, I don’t think I touched that jar since I graduated college. It sat in the corner of my house during 2020, covered in dust (because I’m also admitting I don’t dust very well when it comes to the stuff higher than eye level). It became a decoration and not a useful tool to keep me positive, filled with light, and focus on all the wonderful things Jesus has done for me, especially on the really hard days.
I’m sure we’ve all been there. We say we are going to do something better, get better at it, and them slump off once we feel like we mastered a task. Yet, that nasty habit sneaks back when you aren’t looking and guarding yourself.
My language got bad. I said ugly things. I judged others harshly. I was mean. I was negative about my job, my circumstances, and in my unhumble opinion my situation mattered more than others’ problems.
Then I’d try to clean it up, because what flows out of the mouth is an outpour of the heart (Proverbs 4:23-24).
Then I would drop the practice and when something not ideal happened, I reacted poorly, and not to mention, dramatically.
It was a vicious pattern and then I would beat myself up over not looking for the positives, and then November comes around the corner, with the holiday we title Thanksgiving, where we give thanks for things, places, and people (sometimes in that order) for which we feel gratitude.
It hit me that I had been treating this holiday the way I make fun of others for going above and beyond for praising their parents on Mother’s or Father’s Day, making a big deal over Valentine’s Day, or other holidays our society has taken a secular interest in for worshipping.
What I mean is that I saw Thanksgiving as something to just check off my list, acknowledge that my ole great self gives thanks to Jesus one day out of the year in front of others AND JUST DON’T THINK MUCH ABOUT THE OTHER 364 DAYS. Much like I accused social media addicts for going nuts over making a huge to do over holidays, and I self-righteously thought with my nose up that “I should be nice to my mother all year long not just on Mother’s Day.” I really hope your inner reading voice read that in a pompous, snotty tone. Because at the time I said it I certainly, sincerely, and rudely meant it.
However, my snark left the building, or more realistically, shamefully walked out the door when November rolled around this year. I grimaced when I dusted the empty blessing jar, long forgotten, off the shelf. I felt a pang of hypocrisy when I glanced at the other jar I made for my husband’s side of the family a few years ago. At Thanksgiving dinner we all would write one down and share at dinner what we were thankful for that year.
I’m all about some tradition, and definitely for taking advantage of Thanksgiving family time as a time for reflection and gratitude for how blessed we truly are. I just felt bad for neglecting in between the high and low seasons. Upon realizing and reflecting how I haven’t been quite as thankful and kind as I should be, Daniel and I decided to try writing down one each day for the entire month of November leading up to Thanksgiving, and we plan on sharing them with each other. Maybe it will become our own little tradition!
What I hadn’t expected though this year is the difference in my attitude and demeanor by spending the down time of my day wondering what I will pick to write down for the day. I focus more on the good than the negative hiccups that will inevitably happen. For example, our well got messed up one weekend and we were without water for a tiny bit, and instead of what I would usually do (have a meltdown and pity party), I mostly just shrugged my shoulders and made a plan to keep going. Stuff will happen you can’t avoid. The only thing I can do is control how I respond.
It sounds almost too simple. Write down something that is a blessing to you, and your attitude improves? Well, the action wasn’t difficult, but the intention behind it is way more than just acknowledging the blessing. By keeping my eyes towards the goodness of God, and remaining in constant thankfulness for Him and what He has done in my life, my heart feels lighter. I don’t get weighed down by the bad as much. Even if it was something as “simple” as thanking Him for the ability to shower with clean water, something many of us have probably taken for granted at times, the act of thanking Him provided humbling to my heart. Staying thankful helps me stay full for when more than mere tiny inconveniences hit me. A heart full of love and positivity runs a lot longer than one half empty, on fumes, and ready to blow at the slightest stump of a toe. Perhaps that is why Paul wrote this: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18).
Staying positive, humble, and grateful certainly isn’t something you just naturally are, unless you aren’t a human. It is something you practice and continually works toward, otherwise you might slip up and go in the opposite and wrong direction. Or at least this girl does when I’m not guarding my heart and keeping eyes upon Jesus.
I can’t guarantee Daniel and I will do the blessing jar every day each year, but I hope I’ll use this as a reminder to be more thankful throughout each day, whether I physically write something down or not.
Mirror, Mirror 