We live in a world where we are taught self-care is important, to put on our oxygen mask first before helping others, and that we can’t help others if our cup is empty. Well, all is true. We are no good to others if we have nothing to offer. The problem with this thinking is that we are reminded over and over to help ourselves, but the helping others is not on the same quantity of reminders.
Satan is really good at half truths. He’s really good at questioning words and ideas, and to easily put you on another path not of God: “Did God really say you could not eat of any tree in the garden? Come on, you won’t die! It’s food and you need food to survive!” (paraphrase of Genesis 3). He’s really good at twisting narratives to get us focusing on ourselves rather than God’s path and our helping of others. Where do you think we learned instantly blaming someone else in our misfortunate or restrictions?
“But Mom, if I don’t have this new shirt then I won’t fit in with the other girls. Then, I won’t have any friends to like witness to, you know?”
“But we should be happy too! If we don’t also treat ourselves this Christmas then we will be negative around others, bringing them down too.”
“But if I don’t play all the entire game then the team is likely to lose!”
We tend to look out for ourselves first before worrying about others, or even understand another’s perspective. And if we feel slighted, then it’s someone’s else’s fault immediately. The “me first” culture today has really shifted our focus to self serving gods. If we have time to help anyone else in our schedule, then great, but first we put our needs above the rest.
A push for changing something in our respective lives if we don’t like it is also being promoted today too. Don’t like the way someone is doing something? Skip a civil conversation to find a solution, and go above them to immediately complain and remove the obstacle that offended you. If someone won’t let you do something, go to someone else until you get the answer you want. Hard truths and having our toes stepped on is something we are vehemently told negatively affect “filling up our cups,” mental health, and just simply does not help us so we must avoid them at all costs. The issue is those hard truths actually would help us in the long run, but we are misguided in believing that because it ruins our “happy” in the particular moment.
We see this “me first” infiltrated in all areas of society, and even in places it theoretically shouldn’t be: institutions aligned with Christianity. It can be the people in charge of the institution, or it can be the ones who partake in whatever the institution offers. Selfish desires are disguised as something for the greater good. Excuses are made for behavior that is not of Jesus. It makes sense these places are tempted with the slippery slope of “me first, others second” because as soon as you label something as Christ following, the enemy will do whatever he can to bring it down, to make the witness falter, and to inhibit others to follow Jesus.
That’s why it is so important for believers to continually deny our flesh, self-examine our thoughts and actions every day, and seek His will every moment. This applies especially to those in leadership at Christ following establishments, but to those who are being served also need to practice denying the flesh too.
For example, the goal for a team I have the opportunity to coach is to have the entire team thinking of team over self. We’ve had moments of where that has happened in a season, but it is such a hard lesson to learn. Taking out our natural ability to put self first is difficult, especially for a mind not fully developed until their mid twenties. Self glory and self-serving ideology still rules the majority of the time.
Let’s be honest. It’s hard for fully developed adults to do this as well. It goes against our human nature, and it’s not easy and usually painful (to our pride). I am at fault of this a good bit too. Someone insults me or says I’m not doing a good job, I’m ready to fight (but probably after I’ve had a good cry first).
One technique I’ve tried to put in place to keep myself in check is first to examine my own actions in an objective viewpoint before placing blame on someone other than myself. If I find myself guilty in the slightest, then it extinguishes my anger and hurt, at least a little bit, at whatever happened to cause my feathers to ruffle.
Even if we are diligently denying our selfishness, then not surprisingly, we easily get upset when we undoubtedly encounter someone who certainly is not trying to do that. Remember, as soon as we set our minds and hearts to be more like Jesus, then the enemy will throw something else at you.
Following Jesus was never supposed to be easy. Keeping our focus on Him, our wants that feel like needs in the moment quiet down. Our hearts searching for His will keeps our agendas in check with Him. Focusing on the end result, makes those tough spots of the race of life a little bit easier to run. Calling out to Him and following His steps lights our path and dims the distractions on the sidelines.
So, watch out for the traps and potholes in the road. They may be beautifully disguised and they might look like they can help you on your journey/run/life, but you might end up with a flat tire from time to time. How will you respond when that happens? How will you get up off your knees and back to following His light?
2 Timothy 4: 1-8 sums it up perfectly:
“I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.”
The knee-jerk reaction of the world is to “accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions” and “turn away from listening to the truth.” Yes, our needs must be met, but don’t let the sideline distractions of this world tell you those fleshly desires are needs. The only voice we should listen and follow is God, and the only way we can hear Him through the noise, is to pick up His Word and be in constant prayer. Please, before it is too late.
“All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3: 16-17).
Mirror, Mirror 