When plans go off the rails, how do you respond? When situations leave your hands, how do you let go?
I’ve listened to lots of advice, read several Scripture verses, and prayed over my anxious heart and mind when things do not go as planned. As I’ve grown older, I think I’ve gotten better at remaining calm in not ideal scenarios, and maintaining my cool in tense exchanges. I definitely can attest to which is the better outcome in those situations since witnessing a variance of responses to those unexpected, disappointing, and just upsetting occurrences.
This month has been a mixture of finishing reading the Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes. I was so excited to dedicate time to storing up wisdom, praise, and advice in my heart. However, I found myself thinking about my past reactions to scenarios and troubleshooting on how I could do better in the future. In analyzing myself, I also couldn’t help but look closely at others’ reactions in similar times as well.
This most recent reflection was brought on by an unforeseen mishap this month. Our vacation this year was to explore Scotland, and we were gone for almost two weeks. A few of those days were taken up by traveling there and back, and while pretty much every flight we went on had some type of delay, the one we REALLY needed to be delayed, left right on time. It was our connecting flight home, and while it left on time, we arrived too late due to a delay on our first flight for the day. Originally we were supposed to arrive home around 9PM on a Saturday, but we ended up not getting home until noon the following day. It was such a sour and an exhausting end to such a beautiful trip.
When we got on that first flight out of Edinburgh, we had a good idea that we were going to miss our connection, but knew there was still a chance we could make it if we hurried. As we sat on the plane during taxi, prolonged waits to deplane, our window was shrinking drastically. I wasn’t in a panic yet until I got the email for rebooking as we waited our turn to get off the plane.
The airline had booked us new seats since we were going to miss our connection. Now, we weren’t flying out until Monday morning, and we would have to fly from London to Madrid then to home! This was the time my entire party was starting to freak out and panic. We had a business to get back to, and fur babies to feed.
Granted, we were not the only ones who had missed our connecting flights. Lots of people disembarked and got in line at the customer service desk. People were upset, including us. My dad and husband were angry. I tried not to cry, but I could not help the frustrated tears escaping my eyes as we stood in line to try and get an earlier flight, or at least a hotel. My mom did her best to remind us that responding in anger could result in receiving no help at all, and that a calm demeanor would make things go smoother. Such wise words, and a resounding echo of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. She spoke from witnessing similar circumstances. Unfortunately, this was not out first airport inconvenience. It’s pretty common actually.
Once it was our turn to be helped, the process took about two hours. We had a party of six, and the lady did her best to get us all out on the same plane. Fortunately, she had us rebooked on a flight out the next morning, but also offered to put us on standby for a flight that night to Boston. We would still have another flight before making it home, but at least there was a chance we would be back in our home country. My husband and I were listed as first priority, and then the rest of our party.
After making our way to the gate for the standby flight, we tried calming down and contacted our pet caretakers back home, and family members. Lots of prayers were sent up by friends and family for us to make it on the standby flight.
About thirty minutes prior to board our standby flight, the emails flooded my inbox, and with answered prayers, all six of us made it on the standby flight that night. I was very thankful for the woman who calmly helped us in rebooking our flights at that counter, but I did tell her I do not envy her job. Dealing with upset and frustrated people, especially some who were probably running on very little sleep and hungry, is not something I could handle as a full-time job. I still struggle regulating my own emotions, let alone being crisis control for anyone else.
Throughout the entire extra nineteen hours we got to spend on this trip, I kept thinking if it might have been different if we responded with anger at that counter. Sure, we were upset, but we actively tried maintaining a calm tone in explaining our situation. It wasn’t her fault the flight from Edinburgh to London was delayed. It wasn’t our fault. I also kept thinking about the phrase, “you can’t control anyone’s actions, only your own.” The way we respond is the only thing in our control, even though we would like to think otherwise. We planned this trip, and I had booked our flights. I chose those times, and boy did I blame myself for not getting a longer layover to avoid missing our connection. I think I snapped at a couple people in my party too during those nineteen hours as well.
The following verses stood out to me during and after our travel troubles, and I hope to remember in the days to come when the curveballs come, or some attitude gets thrown my way:
- Proverbs 17: 14, “The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.”
- Proverbs 14: 29, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”
- Proverbs 15: 1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
- Proverbs 15: 18, “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.”
- Ecclesiastes 7: 21, “Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.”
We live in a world where we want instant fixes, no inconveniences, and no hurts or wrongs done to us. It just isn’t possible. Our travel story, while not what we intended or planned or certainly wanted, reminded me that it could have been a whole lot worse. It also made me think of times where I had responded in anger or spite, and there isn’t an instance I recall where it actually worked out for the better for me. The book of Proverbs was right! Harsh words and anger make it worse more often than not. It keeps the situation prolonged and more miserable than the original offense. Humbled and soft reactions will reach a more desirable outcome, or at least a compromise.
I also thought about the times where I was on the receiving end of anger in situations that were A) not something I was in control of, or B) Blown out of proportion and misunderstood. My reading of Ecclesiastes 7:21 stepped on my toes as the offended and the offender. I lose sleep when I’m on the receiving end. I dwell on the harsh words spoken to or at me, and this verse reminded me that it isn’t worth it. It made me think about the moments I too responded in rude frustration, which came from a place of selfishness and I did not really mean the harsh words I threw at the receiving end. Or if I did mean them, I was reminded that I am no better.
Storing up Scripture has made God’s Word become the first thing on my mind when I get in sticky situations. I still mess up and fall short often, but His Word ringing in my ear has helped me so much. Following Him is not always the easy choice when temptations to snap arise, but the result speaks on how worth it is in the end. He is worth it. Always.
Mirror, Mirror 