In college I studied different methods on how to analyze literature, and by far my favorite related to patterns. My overall takeaway is that it connected the dots over this large map. I easily spotted patterns of archetypes, story plots, characters, etc. I like seeing the big picture. I love when a puzzle comes together. Recently, I’ve been fascinated with seeing how parts of my life have fallen into place, and observing how some prayers were answered. Especially when it comes to the people in my life.
I used to be terrified to go up and speak to strangers, especially anyone older than me. I was easily intimidated and would rather slink to the back of a group to disappear from being seen. Those anxieties haven’t gone away completely, but I have learned to do hard things that are not my favorite thing. Don’t get me wrong, if I can get out of talking on the phone or ordering at a drive-thru window, I’m taking the easy way out.
I live in a relatively small community. I went to a small college where it wasn’t hard to go anywhere and spot someone you know. When I returned to my home town, I still can’t go to the grocery store, the gym, or even the vet’s office without seeing someone I know. My introverted self has pretended to not see a familiar face just to spare myself from having to talk. It’s not anything personal against seeing someone, but sometimes I just want to get in and get out without having to talk to another soul. I’m sure I’ve come off as rude before as well. I’m not big on small talk or chit-chat. Parties and large reunions scare me a bit too.
My adult life does not allow me the luxury of slinking to the back very often. I also haven’t made it any easier on myself by accepting roles where I have been called, such as Vacation Bible School leader/teacher/director, youth leader, children’s ministry teacher, volleyball coach, office administrator, board member at my local Pregnancy Resource Center, and drama teacher/director. One glance at my resume and you think I would be lying about my fear of speaking to others, especially strangers.
Pretty much all of these roles force me to talk, speak in front of large crowds, and mingle with people in my community. Making connections with others is a main part of the roles I have been given to steward over.
Sometimes I just look up to the sky and say, “You know my heart and how much I dread walking up to start a conversation.” I think another thing comes my way after those moments too. My husband always tells me to get over my fear by just doing the thing that scares me. Well, honey, I’ve been speaking in front of people for several years now and I still get anxious prior to opening my mouth. Your theory is proven incorrect.
However, if I step back and gloss over the details of my heart pounding, palms sweating, stomach turning, and see all the connections between everyone I’ve met and will continue to meet through those roles and situations that rack and wreck my nerves, I see Jesus. Also, the struggles remind me I am human and constantly in need of my heavenly Father to get through it. He is the one that halts my worries and stops my anxiety in its tracks. In the combination of the connections and my personal shortcomings, I see God’s plan and how it points to Genesis in how He designed us.
This big picture moment clicked in my head after a trip to the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum in Kentucky recently. What an awesome and God glorifying experience! Seriously, what a blessing! It highlighted the importance of understanding Genesis, God as the Creator and all He created, and how we are descendants under Noah and his family due to the global flood. I’ve read Genesis a bunch of times, but the visual representation of what the Ark might have looked like, how Noah’s family lived on the ark and took care of the animals, and the Creation Museum’s walkthrough of Creation, Adam and Eve, and the Fall, truly enhanced and furthered my understanding of God’s Word. There aren’t enough words to encompass this truly neat experience and all we read throughout the exhibits.
I would love to tell you this experience of connecting the dots, reminder that we all fall under as God’s Creation, and are of one race/one family squashed my hesitation of walking up to others, starting a conversation, or introducing myself. It should help knowing hey, we all have something in common: the wonderful, mighty, all-powerful Father who created us! But of course I still have a slight hiccup because I am me and I still have an inside war raging. My mind considers answering the phone a big deal when logically they are not. However, with the big picture in my mind, I understand the reasoning behind why it is so vital and important to make these connections with one another.
In college you hear the word “networking” a thousand times, and it’s highly encouraged. In high school, it was given another phrase but with a negative connotation: “Oh, so-so just got that job/position/promotion/grade/etc. because of who so-so knows. It’s all about who you know and not what you know.” Well, making the most of connections you have between other humans isn’t a bad thing. It’s the exploitation of those connections that is wrong. We were meant to fellowship and work together, not for selfish ambition or adding another accolade, but for God’s glory.
I’ve certainly improved my people skills through the numerous lessons God has thrown my way over the years, and I will admit it’s not quite as scary as it used to be.
Looking back at all the stops to where I am now, I am so thankful for all the people I’ve met along the way. Several of those connections started with me making the first move through an email, phone call, or a simple walking up to a new person for an introduction. It opened doors I never thought possible, and that alone is because of God. Some were for a season, some have been lifelong, but each were for a reason and have played a part in the big picture. YHWH brings what we need and who we need when we need it, just as Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6: 25-34:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?…Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat’ or “What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
So if you see me addressing a crowd, please know I am happy and blessed to do it, but that I probably stayed up the night before tossing and turning agonizing over if I’ll throw up before stepping center stage. And just pray for God to supply the words while I stand up there. The leading up to public speaking may terrify me and my body and mind will try to psych me out, but I know because of my trust in God it will all work out for His glory. My history with it is proof enough, but again logic alludes my brain often when it comes to uncomfy things, like speaking. The enemy uses anxiety and fear to try and stop me, but my God is bigger than that. He also sends others to me to remind me of that as well. Praise God for His steadfast love that endures forever!
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever” (Psalm 136: 1).
We make the connections to others because it points us to our mutual Creator. The connections show me Jesus, just as I look out and view the wonders of His creation in nature. We too are created by Him. He made no mistakes because His Word says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1: 27). All the proof we need for how God made the world and how He intended for it be lies in Genesis, whether it be the creation of the world, our identities as humans, marriage, relationships to one another, or the living things we were placed in dominion over. It’s all there, including the history of what we did after He breathed life into us. God provides what we need and desires for us to choose to follow Him and His way, but He allows us to choose which way we will go.
The Ark Encounter and Creation Museum are worth a trip for all believers and Christ followers, and enlightening to all. I highly recommend it to anyone who is considering it!
Mirror, Mirror 